Three barriers to mindful and effective communication you should know about
This week, I am writing about the barriers to effective communication in the workplace. It is fair to say that most people are experiencing heightened emotional arousal during this crisis. A result of a toxic fear of uncertainty in a crisis. A lot of the communication taking place at present could be a lot more emotionally charged than usual. You may find yourself reacting to things in unusual ways you may have responded to differently in the past.
Practising mindful and effective communication is crucial as we progress all together through this pandemic. That being said, many things can interfere with our efforts to mindfully and effectively communicate with one another in the workplace. Some of the more common problems are:
Criticism:
This is when a person complains while blaming other colleagues. This sometimes includes attacking the person’s personality and bringing up a list of criticisms. In this case, a suggested solution is if you have a complaint you want to raise, instead of criticising your colleague, communicate that you would like a conversation and stick to the facts of what you have a complaint about. Avoid using the terms “always” and “never” in your discussion. Staying in the present is critical, and do not repeat old disagreements with your colleague. Focus on the actions, not the person. Using “I” messages in your communication is recommended. You can download the “I” messages worksheet here.
Defensiveness:
This is when a person tries to defend one’s innocence. Trying to avoid a verbal attack, counterattacking, whining, denying responsibility for a problem, cross-complaining and taking the innocent victim stance is another way thing can go wrong and inhibit effective communication in the workplace. In this case, a suggested solution could be that both colleagues agree to take responsibility for their part of the problem.
Contempt:
This occurs when one colleague acts superior or takes the moral high ground; belligerence, insults, and put-downs often accompany it. These may be expressed non-verbally, e.g., eye-rolling, smirking, etc. A suggested solution here could be that everyone in the team works together to create a culture of appreciation and acceptance in the workplace. Ensuring a culture where everyone is treated with dignity and respect.
Stonewalling:
A bonus barrier to the three most common ones above is what is called Stonewalling. This is when a person withdraws from the interaction. This is often due to feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions and negative interpretations of a colleague’s behaviours. This happens to many professionals and could be a way of shutting down emotionally for self-preservation. In this case, a suggested solution could be that if you are feeling overwhelmed by the situation, recognise the symptoms and take a time out for self-soothing. However, it is essential to set a time to go back to the discussion when you are much calmer. When the overwhelm occurs because you anticipate what may come next, try to stop your racing thoughts and challenge the validity of any negative opinions you may be thinking. Often, we expect the worst-case scenario, which may not happen.
Mindful and effective communication is critical in the times we are all working in today. Having access to the tools that can help you communicate mindfully, effectively and compassionately with others is essential. If you haven’t already downloaded the “I” messages worksheet, you can download it free here.
For further reading on growing effective communication skills, I would recommend the following booksbooks: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B, Rosenburg, PhD. and Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to nonviolent communication by Oren Jay Sofer and Talking Across The Divide by Justin Lee.
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I hope you find these book recommendations useful on your journey to growing your interpersonal communication in the workplace.
Beaulah Chizimba is a Career Coach, Leadership Facilitator and Trainer
She writes about career and leadership development strategies for personal professional performance and team performance.